Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
