Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
