Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
