We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
