My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
