i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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