who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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