listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
