she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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