ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
