i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
love makes seman taste better
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
