Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
