he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
