my mouth tastes like poor choices
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
