You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
