look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Randomize
