K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
