Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Randomize
