He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
