so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize