The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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