he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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