That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
