there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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