was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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