Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
