It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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