this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
