As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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