My friends, they love my intelligence
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
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