We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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