about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
