ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
