You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
accomplished twins. life is a go
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
