And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
