He disabled his match.com account in front of me
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
