david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Randomize
