i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize