wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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