If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
