im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize