mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
