dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
