the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
