the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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