3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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