The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
