he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
