apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
