I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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