y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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