So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
