Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You took a bar mat shot.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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