you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
