So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
