you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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