This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Your dad touched me again.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
