I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
