oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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