he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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