Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
pray to the hookup gods
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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